What. The. Hell.

Just got an email from Perry’s Steakhouse.

Introducing Perry’s Private Reserve Caviar.

…

Perry’s signature caviar is from the World’s finest small batch Sturgeon that have been ethically and sustainably farmed with an all-natural diet and then harvested with the highest quality practices.

Not just caviar, but caviar from “small batch Sturgeon” (what the heck does that mean?) “ethically and sustainably farmed with an all-natural diet”.

But wait, there’s more:

…our innovative caviar service dish is kept at subzero temps…

…to maintain a perfect temperature for this and surrounded by ice (and sparklers) for a show-stopping and mouthwatering experience.

Any of you guys set of sparklers on the major holidays? You know what they smell like, right? Do you want your $2,646 per pound caviar smelling like burnt sparkler?

($175 for 30 grams, $75 for 10 grams. I think I did the math right. But you get chives, egg whites, toast points, egg yolks, and red onions with it.)

Don’t get me wrong, I like Perry’s. And I like caviar, and I have written in the past about the continuing caviar crisis. But this is just silly.