March 2, 1996: Bertram’s Restaurant and Bar.

1601 Guadalupe
476-2743

Pepper grinder rating: 3. (Actually, a 2 pepper grinder, but they get an extra point for a good looking design.)

Men’s room rating: 3. (Clean, well lighted, but seems too small for the size of the restaurant. Extra points for the exposed ductwork, which makes it look like something out of Terry Gilliam’s Brazil.)

Dwight’s comments:

This was recommended to us by my good friend and former partner, Heather Galyon. I don’t think we were as impressed by it as she is, though.

Bertram’s falls pretty squarely on the upscale side of the dining experience: about $40 per person with salads and appetizers, in addition to the main course. The steamed mussels (in a white wine and butter sauce) were an excellent appetizer, but I felt cheated by the black pepper Parmesan biscuits with crayfish sauce: biscuit would have been a more accurate description. My Caesar salad was competently executed, but I’ve had better ones elsewhere.

The main courses suffered from two basic problems we’ve been running into recently:

  • The French Problem. Or, “I enjoyed my main course. All three ounces of it.” Again, Lawrence and I (and our good friend, Andrew “Scarlet Letter” Wimsatt, who joined us for dinner) aren’t pigs. But high prices and small portion sizes are a sure turn-off for us.
  • We’ve also found that a lot of places seem to have given up marinades or spices on their various meat dishes. Instead, they serve the dishes with a sauce and let that carry the flavor of the dish. The problem is, that only works if the sauce is interesting. Neither the nicoise (a black olive) sauce on my roasted leg of lamb, or the cognac and green peppercorn sauce on Lawrence and Andrew’s beef tenderloin were that interesting.

Conversation after dinner:

“I think I’ll have the $7 cheesecake.”
“Excuse me? A $7 cheesecake?”
“Yes.”
“That’s cheese and cake, right? They don’t put bourbon or nothing in it?”
“Nope.”

I wouldn’t mind going back again, if someone else was paying (I wonder if they do corporate events.) or if I was trying to impress a date. However, given a choice, I’ll take Castle Hill Cafe over Bertram’s.

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